The news comes. Maybe it was a voicemail, maybe it was on a walk, able to be named when not looking directly into the eyes, spoken quietly to the side. Maybe one of the many text threads that keep our lives afloat and connected blew up with it...My mom has cancer. Julie has cancer...I have cancer.
After the initial torrent of details (when, where, what, how far, options, what we know/what we don't know) into the space of love comes the inevitable next feeling: what can we do? How can we help? Maybe a mealtrain? Can we do the laundry/watch the kids/definitely 100% do NOT watch Terms of Endearment? And then, of course, we want to send something...but what?
Googling "top gifts for people with cancer" or "what to get someone who has breast cancer" is shockingly lacking. Not-so-helpful "friend cancer gift" lists include insulated wine tumblers with pink ribbons on them, socks that say "hope" on one foot and "strong" on the other, and/or the suggestion of a head scarf or wig (? unless it's this one, that seems pretttty personal). And, hey, if those suggestions resonate with you, great! If not—we got you...
TOP 5 GIFTS FOR PEOPLE WITH CANCER THAT DON'T SUCK
1) Slippers
It's not just because a great pair of slippers can bring either "floating around the villa" OR "nestled in a Scandinavian cabin" vibes depending on the style, slippers are also super helpful for navigating notoriously frigid medical settings with slick floors. The grippy socks they give you in the hospital are cool and all, but having something that makes them feel like a glamorously authentic version of themselves (and that can be slipped on and off easily) is a total win. Also, not everyone experiences neuropathy in their extremities during treatment, but if they do, cozy slippers can help ease that as well.
(Top: Sabah Shearling Babas L-R: Bombas Women's Gripper Slipper, Capulette Paris Velvet Babouches, The Leather Works All American Alpine Sheepskin Slipper, Glerups Shoe With Natural Rubber Sole)
2) The Book Stack/Magazine Stack
One thing they don't tell you is there is a lot of just waiting around when you have cancer. 1-2 hours for most visits, 3-4 hours around any treatment, not to mention down time at home when horizontal is basically required. Scrolling on your phone becomes the default (and we all know infinite scrolling literally never made anyone feel better). Enter: The Stack. Books, Magazines, Light Reading, Nothing Too Sad. You know your person, so you know what might transport them from beige waiting room/greige treatment room/dark bedroom to some other beautiful world so get them a few thoughtful titles in that vein that they don't have to think too hard about (one friend of ours was sent the complete E.M. Forster—Room With A View etc—for her treatment path but, hey, she's a singular person). We've loved getting—and gifting— fat stacks of glossy magazines, Outlander, Bridgerton, or the Court of Thorns and Roses Series (spicy!), or Louise Penny or Ruth Galloway mysteries. If reading becomes unpleasant (ugh), Audible gift memberships or Libro.fm gift credits lets you gift them books to listen to instead.
3) Splurgey Hand Cream
Dry skin is real and often exacerbated by treatments (and requisite frequent hand washing). Splurgey hand cream is always a good idea and just the kind of thing people might not think to treat themselves to. Ahhh, and the scents! Prohibitions on candles and diffusers in medical settings mean that things don't often smell rich, so a hint of fabulous scent paired with a care ritual that requires almost no lifting can feel downright luxurious. If scent sensitivity becomes a thing, there's also a killer healing unscented option.
(L-R: Grown Alchemist Regenerating Hand Cream Treatment, UNSCENTED: EltaMD Skin Restore Hand Cream, Aesop Eleos Aromatique Hand Balm, Austin Austin Organics Palmarosa & Vetiver Hand Cream.
4) Ice Cream
Yes, we scream, you scream, we all scream for Ice Cream//getting a gift of something sweet, delightful, and ephemeral SHIPPED to you is like a blammo Christmas-style surprise at any time. AND, a shocking number of our friends + family have told us that when they were pretty deep into their cancer treatments, ice cream was literally all they could deal with eating (cool, creamy, soothing to tender mouths, and calorie rich...ice cream as secret super food? HERE FOR IT!). While Goldbelly has loads of different and amazing ice creams available for delivery, we actually had Jeni's Ice Cream for the first time in 2012 when the friend with breast cancer we were visiting in Nashville requested that we go get her a pint...so it holds a place in our hearts as the gold standard.
Note: People definitely have all kinds of thoughts about what are appropriate foods for people with cancer/women at large really (and strangers will love to tell you allll about them especially when you're sick, thanks sooo much!) so you might want to check on the rare-ish cold aversions/dairy sensitivities/food vibes if you want to do super due diligence but we've never known anyone to be bummed at an ice cream delivery ;)
5) A DOMANI
Surprise! Come on, now...we couldn't leave ourselves off the list, now, could we?! True talk: cancer brings about so many unknowns, so many questions, and so much uncertainty that alongside all of the physical downers (of which there are many) there can sometimes be this, like, existential crisis: Who am I now that I have cancer? Well, dear ones, you are you, just going through it.
What we've heard most from our beloved clients and what we've experienced firsthand: Anything that can inject not only a feeling of normalcy but even one of elevated self is a real gift. Our pieces are designed to help with the literal physical rigors of treatment and healing (cooling, moisture wicking, skin soothing fabrics in silhouettes that won't get jammed up on ports, tubes, drains, or incision points) but also are luxe and special enough to address some of the emotional ones. Like, these pajamas don't save the world but they do make you feel like a human, a great version of one, a great version of yourself when you put them on. And that's a bigger deal than any of us can know until we do.